Law and Order

Barely two months into parenting a five-year-old, I’ve learned an important lesson: Five-year-olds like order. Suddenly, my little girl is the sheriff in a town of hooligans. (The parts of the unruly townspeople are usually played by me, her father, and her sister. Especially her sister.)

This sudden focus on rules and order is pretty reasonable, really. Hers is a world of mandatory activities like sitting in her booster seat, eating her vegetables, waiting her turn, coloring only on paper—rules are everywhere she turns. She’s still learning how the world works, and so far, it appears to her that rules are the things keeping our little civilization chugging along. So lately, B’s been drawing signs and other things to help us maintain order in our household.

Every home needs a girls' bathroom pass:















Likewise, every big sister needs a "No Babies" sign for her bedroom door. Because babies aren't good with the reading, she took the trouble to cross out the baby with the universal symbol for "no," a red circle with a line through it. (Note the tears on the baby's face--let that be a warning to all babies who dare to trespass.) She also has a "babies allowed" sign that she uses when she's feeling loving toward Mia, which is most of the time, fortunately.





















Thankfully, babies are allowed to eat in our house. The menu for her restaurant clearly states who is welcome: People, kids and babies. (But don't try to order something not on the menu, like coffee or string cheese. Substitutions are forbidden.)

















Thank goodness I have her to help me keep this crazy bunch under control. Otherwise, who knows what would happen. We would have babies in bedrooms and people using the bathroom WITHOUT A PASS. In other words, chaos. Pure chaos.