Thursday, September 15, 2011

So, How Does She Do it?

I Don’t Know How She Does It, the movie-version of Allison Pearson’s bestselling novel about the working-mom juggle, hits the big screen tomorrow. As a mama who’s lived several versions of the working-mama-drama (full-time, full-on working mom of an infant; part-time working mom in charge of a department; harried work-at-home mom of two) I’m looking forward to seeing it. I hope the movie is every bit as honest about the struggles of working motherhood as the book is.

When I first read the book, I was a childless working girl climbing the professional ladder. I enjoyed Pearson’s writing but I was disappointed by the book’s portrayal of the difficulties of balancing work and family. In fact, by the end, I practically threw it down in disgust. I was raised by a working mom and planned on being a working mom, and the book’s realities were just a little too real for me. And I was disappointed by the ending. I felt it gave a negative view of working motherhood with the ultimate message that women just can’t have it all. Not what I wanted to hear as an idealistic 20-something.

A few years later, when I was living the working-mom thing, I picked it up again, and read it with entirely new eyes. This time, the book’s message didn’t seem overly negative at all. It was simply the truth. Finally, I got it. Nearly five years after reading the book, some of the lines and anecdotes still dance in my head. I can’t say that about very many books.

I don’t want to give away too much about the book, so I'll just say this: if you’re a working mom or planning on being one, read it. Read it now. On second thought, maybe wait until you’ve got a year or so of working motherhood under your belt. Only then will you truly appreciate Pearson's wisdom and wit.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Where were you?



I’ve been thinking about time and place—and how powerfully our surroundings can influence our experiences and memories. Collectively, the country is getting ready to reflect on memories of September 11, 2001, a day that will forever be etched in our shared history. But each of us will have our own experience to look back on, based on where we were (both physically and in our lives) when the tragedy struck.

On September 11, 2001, I was a freshly-minted college graduate and newlywed living in a tiny apartment in West Los Angeles, working as a sales manager at a hotel in Beverly Hills. That morning, I had a full schedule: a meeting in downtown LA followed by a client lunch. I drove to work at 7:45 a.m. (about two hours after the first plane struck the North Tower) under strangely quiet skies, listening to a CD. I was completely unaware that the entire world was riveted on the World Trade Center until I arrived at work and stepped into chaos. My meetings, of course, were canceled.

Nestled among plastic surgery clinics, a stone’s throw from Rodeo Drive and across the street from a strictly kosher Ralph’s Thriftway, our hotel sat on a cultural and economic dividing line between the superficial glitz of Beverly Hills and the quiet Jewish neighborhoods south of Pico Boulevard. An extended-stay hotel catering to corporate travelers, it was regularly filled with businesspeople from around the world. It would not be uncommon to see an orthodox Jewish rabbi, an Asian business executive, and a preppy fleece-clad VP from The North Face munching on chips and salsa at the complimentary hospitality hour.

A hotel is a strange place to experience a national crisis. Though every person at the hotel came from different countries for different reasons, they all had one thing in common: they were far from home at a time when the world was filled with fear. Air travel was suspended, and the hotel’s operations were effectively frozen. Scheduled arrivals weren’t coming in, and those who were supposed to fly out were stuck. Telephone lines and cell signals were jammed as people frantically tried to reach relatives and co-workers in New York.

As the morning wore on, hundreds of hotel guests from around the world piled into the hotel’s lobby to watch the television. Hotel staff produced cookies and coffee from the kitchen. Cups and water bottles were passed around as we sat, riveted to the spot, starting at the television. Everyone had a television in their room, of course, but the lobby felt safer somehow. Being surrounded by strangers was better than being alone.

That day, my happy young-adult bubble of invincibility burst wide open. There are moments in life when we’re thrust (sometimes unwillingly) toward adulthood. These moments don’t happen at happy, predictable intervals—graduations, weddings—but at times of crisis and tragedy. I remember feeling, for the first time, the hatred that some people feel toward Americans. Suddenly, I felt a tiny piece of what it’s like to be loathed for something you can’t control. I felt powerless and small.

Sadly, that day of supreme ugliness and hate would be followed by more of the same—racial profiling, finger pointing, and fear-mongering. But on that day, travelers from around the world huddled together in a hotel lobby in an ethnically diverse neighborhood, comforting one another in hushed tones, offering cell phones, and sharing their shock, fear, and disbelief. There was no “us versus them.” We were just people, sharing a day that none of us would ever forget. The world was ripped apart by fear, but during that long day, we were united. If there was a good place to experience a national tragedy, that was it.

Where were you on that day?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Summer 2011: Looking Back


School’s starting, leaves are on the ground, and I detect a chill in the air. Yup, fall’s here. And we have a GREAT summer to look back on (I’m eating the last of this summer's blackberries, picked yesterday by Steve and B, as I type). Here are our stats for Summer 2011:

Miles flown: 5304

Tubes of sunscreen used: 6

Serious sunburns: 1 (Steve’s, obtained while boogie-boarding in Hawaii. For our next trip, we’re packing long-sleeve rash guards.)

Boo-boos kissed: 38

Boo-boos requiring stitches: 0, thank goodness

Soggy beach towels at the bottom of the stairs most nights: 4

Pounds of berries consumed: 21 (That is no joke. My girls are bonkers for berries.)

Swimsuits worn out: 2 (1 for each girl)

Parks explored: 12

Home projects completed: 5 (including painting the front door, staining the deck, and pressure-washing everything in sight)

Businesses launched: 1 (My talented hubby's basketball skills-training business Steve Jacobson Hoops)

E-books released: 1 (Ready, Set, Sleep: 50 Ways to Help Your Child Sleep So You Can Sleep Too, by yours truly)

Pet injuries sustained: 1 (Little Sylvie's broken leg. She's now healed and back to her pesky, adorable self!)

Prize-winning veggies grown: 0

Tasty veggies grown: plenty

Hours spent in the backyard: Too many to count

We spent as much time outdoors as possible, and I sacrificed quite a bit of work time to spend more hours with my sweeties. I know I made the right choice. Work will always be waiting, while summer (like our berry season) is gone in a flash.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

But mo-ooom!



Mom, I got dressed all by myself. The least you could do is let me have a Popsicle. I don't care if it's 9 a.m. I'm camping out RIGHT HERE until I get one. Or until this turtleneck cuts off the blood flow to my legs.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Top Ten Reasons I Can't Wait For Fall


Summer, we need to talk. It's been fun and all, but I'm ready for something different. I've got another season on my mind. Namely, fall. Here are the top 10 reasons I can't wait to say "see ya!" to summer and welcome my favorite season, fall.

1. Preschool! When school starts September 1, Bianca can finally see the friends she’s missed all summer long. Plus, I won’t have to hear “Mommy, I’m bored! Take me to the swimming pool zoo library store mall park climbing place grandma’s house right NOW!" on repeat, all day long.

2. Apple pies. Our apple tree is dripping with almost-ripe apples that should be ready to pick next month. I am an impatient gardener…I want to pick those babies, now!

3. Football. Oddly, I’m looking forward to football season this year. Mainly because my husband enjoys it so much, and I love watching him put on his lucky Seahawks jersey and get as excited as a little kid on Christmas morning on game day.

4. And end to Summer Pressure. Summer in Washington state is amazingly brief. It lasts a nanosecond (otherwise known as the month of August). This means that the instant the temperature tops 70, the summer pressure starts: we absolutely MUST get outside to take advantage of every last second, because it will all be over soon! I love summer (i.e. August) but I don’t love the constant pressure to squeeze every last drop out of every fleeting second.

5. New school haircuts and clothes. What mom doesn’t love seeing their kiddo look spiffy? I can’t wait to dig out the new school clothes I’ve bought and squirreled away.

6. New fall TV. I have lots of drawer-organizing and paperwork-sorting to do, and I’m saving it for fall so that I can do it while watching new episodes of Modern Family and How I Met Your Mother.

7. The return of my Uggs. They may be ugly, and I don’t even know if they’re fashionable anymore, but oh, how I love them.

8. Storytime. The return of community activities like the weekly storytime at our local library means that we’ll have some ready-made playdates and an excuse to get out of the house.

9. Holidays. I’m a fall-holiday kind of gal. Halloween? Love it. Thanksgiving? Bring it on. Sure, both holidays involve sweet treats, but I’m more excited about seeing my kids dressed up and having fun with family and friends.

10. Soups and Casseroles. I’m ready for a break from the summertime routine of nonstop hot dogs, burgers, and salads. And fall means soup weather! Every fall I set aside a couple of weekend days to fill the freezer with soups and casseroles. Easy, healthy meals that don’t involve a barbeque. Hooray!

ANOTHER REASON TO LOOK FORWARD TO FALL: A possible end to never-ending diaper chores. Mia picked yesterday to start potty training. She's only one, so this may be a fluke, and I suspect that her love of wasting toilet-paper has something to do with her potty enthusiasm. That reminds me--I need to go and buy more!


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Our nearly-perfect scoop of summer


I can hardly believe it’s August already. Back-to-school season is in full swing. I feel like summer just started, but already most of it is in the rear-view mirror. And I really can’t say that I’m sorry. I’ll be honest; summer with small kids is every bit as exhausting as it is fun. If I’m being really honest, it’s more of the former, less of the latter. There have been many long, cranky days.

We’ve had meltdowns and melted ice-cream cones. We’ve had (diaper) blowouts, and (temper) blowups. We’ve had carseat kicking fights and “Don’t MAKE me pull over” threats. We’ve had far too many rounds of “Mommy, where are we GOING today?”

But not this day.

Today was a day plucked out of a children’s wear catalog. (Minus the impossibly perfect, impractical children’s wear, of course.) There was frolicking at a sun-dappled park under hazy blue skies. There was a picnic. There was a drama-free trip to the library. There was a playdate.

The girls bestowed dimpled grins on smitten strangers like tiny beauty queens. They were kind to each other. They ate their peas. OK, Bianca ate one. It counts.

They were so adorable, they took my breath away. Did I really grow these two gorgeous, funny little people in my own body? They told jokes, followed by giggles as sweet and bubbly as champagne. Their little voices were as smooth as two scoops of butter-pecan.

We had one—one—picturesque, almost-perfect summer day. I’m still savoring it.

I need to bottle up today and seal it tight. I need to preserve it and tuck it away someplace safe. Because I’m absolutely, positively convinced that it not be repeated anytime soon.

Who knows why this day drifted my way. Maybe we’re finally turning the corner on the “Fearsome Fours.” Maybe I’ve logged enough hard days that the Almighty figured I was due for a good one.

I do think that we get days like this, once in the bluest of moons, to help us get through all of the other crappy ones.

I’m sending some of today’s magic your way. I hope you get your perfect summer day, too. Every mom deserves a few.

Wordless Wednesday


Mia and Milo: The cutest cat-kid combo ever.